04 Aug Beyond Semi-Ludicrous
WARNING: RANT COMING
It has come to my attention that there is now a show on the TV Food Network celebrating food that is “semi-homemade.” Now, having used shortcuts in the kitchen, I can understand how this might be a good subject for a television show. Then I looked at the recipes offered by this monstrosity.
Canned chocolate frosting is being passed off as “truffles,” there are food combinations that should never, never be (instant Jell-O as a drink mix??), and the overall approach is, quite simply, nauseating.
From whence spawned this hell-inspired repertoire of “cooking?” This show is an insult to anyone who has taken a proper knife to a vegetable and attempted, with delicate hands, to bring out its ultimate flavor.
What is worse, it is clear that the host of the show has no idea how to cook. She tells her audience the seeds from bell peppers must be removed because they are “very, very hot,” and she attempts to pass off baked pears and sweet potatoes as a “souffle.” I did not think it was possible for the Food Network to dumb down its program any further, but now I am convinced that there are insane people at the helm — who clearly have no respect for the craft of cooking.
We have seen the enemy. That such an abomination of a show even exists convinces me that our mission is more important than ever. For spite I am crafting tonight’s dinner purely from scratch, and I am delighted to take the time to do so. Perhaps it will eradicate the horrible taste I have in my mental mouth from imagining the recipes of this hack who passes herself off as a cook.
/RANT