With a name longer than his actual size, Stiva Arkadyevitch Oblonsky Tafoya is a force to be reckoned with in our test kitchen. Though a mere 8 lbs., his days are consumed with attempts to overpower the kitchen elves and force them into submission, ensuring a sample of every treat is “accidentally” placed in an accessible location. Yea, though the elves have tried to fight him, Stiva is oblivious to his size, and thus proceeds to bully them with the motive power of a small freight train.
Coddled by his loving father, Chef Mark, the miniature pinscher has been renamed “Stiva the Diva” by wicked Aunt Jennifer, who enjoys being walked by Stiva down New York’s sidewalks, where bystanders can often see them arguing about just who is in charge. It is clearly a Napoleonic issue on both sides.
This young chap’s palate is a testament to his father’s cooking talents, and he is thus able to consume large quantities of tasty morsels. This quality, of course, makes him invaluable to our kitchen team, and we have recently commissioned a customized toque and jacket to honor his contributions to The Gilded Fork.
Though his tastes are quite rich, Stiva has also been known to gnaw on a stray soup bone or a sweaty sock.