Yes, I’ve been pretty quiet. As my body has adjusted to the past few weeks of living gluten-free, my mind and emotions have been on a pretty steep, twisty roller coaster. I’ve also been in LA with consulting clients, which involves a lot of dining out, so by Day 2 of this trip the most familiar words out of my mouth were “I can’t have that.”

Cue meltdown.

What do you do when your life revolves around food and drink, and said objects are suddenly the enemy? If you are like me, you go straight to DEFCON 1: Life sucks, I will never experience pleasure again andIhateeveryone. If you are fortunate like me, there are good friends standing by to talk you off the ledge, give you a hug and a pat on the butt. Then you breathe, regroup, and move along the path to wellness, even if one itty bitty little step at a time.

Though I was feeling great when I wrote my last post, that initial nirvana has subsided, and I now live in a cloud of uncertainty, never knowing what will happen with my body from one moment to the next. (This makes scheduling activities particularly interesting.) I’ve also found that gluten-free mixes, for the most part, make me violently ill within minutes. So the unfortunate next step is to eliminate all grains for a certain period, along with dairy, eggs — and my precious coffee.

I have begun to HATE dining in restaurants, because invariably the dish I want has one ingredient I can’t have, and is incorporated into a key component of the dish, so it can’t just be removed. Or the stuff I can have holds no appeal. Or even better, some servers just forget about the gluten-free thing altogether, so an accidental chunk of cookie in my whipped cream renders me doubled over in pain within an hour.

I’m really trying to be a trouper here, but this sucks in every possible way. I find myself in tears a lot.

It would be groovy if all my symptoms were gone and I could say, “Hey, it’s the gluten! No more pain!” But that isn’t the case. The searing leg cramps, the swelling, the stomach nightmares — they all still linger. So now comes the dreaded part, where we get rid of everything else that brings me pleasure. The other night, out of spite, I ate almost a whole tray of brownies because I was just so ANGRY. The next day was less than fun.

I’m not a hedonist by philosophy. I embrace the rational pursuit of my pleasures. Living my life well is incredibly important to me, so in the face of having my definition of that turned upside down, I’m reacting less than optimally. But I am not lamenting long-gone orgiastic meals and jeroboams of the finest bubbly; I am missing a crust of bread. And soon it will be a piece of cheese, and a glass of wine. Where will it stop? And for how long?

I have a memory etched into my head from my Gramma Crucitti, who had a heart attack in her late 60s and had to go on a special diet. As I watched her slather a piece of toast with low-fat cottage cheese one morning, I looked her in the eye and said, “How does that taste?” She cringed at me with the most pitiful face, and said “Please. No wanna talk about it.”

I know how she felt.

In the midst of all this, however, I’ve been trying to see how I can leverage this nightmare so the information is of some use to others — to you, to a friend, a loved one, a dinner guest, or even a customer. The challenges I’m encountering are not new, certainly, but I’ve got a few hoops to jump through here if I intend to keep traveling and exploring the planet. Since you might one day find yourself in those same locations, I’ve started taking notes. And since I want to have guests over to dinner while not compromising my health, I need to learn to cook different foods. I’m taking notes on that, too.

So I will make lemonade, however begrudgingly I might do so at first. It is not in my nature to feel sorry for myself, and I’m trying not to be in that mindset, so I will keep the whining to a minimum; but there may be a few more rants as I navigate a path that is often rocky and uncomfortable. I’m trying to remind myself that this may not be forever, though right now it certainly feels that way. Of course, after eating 3/4 of a tray of brownies, I know 100% certainly for certain that gluten is a fibromyalgia trigger for me, so I can check that box.

What? You thought I learned that with the Bread Pudding Incident? Or the mini-muffins? Welcome to my definition of the Calabrese testa dura, darlings.

Photo: Kelly Cline

[I'm bringing this show out from the archives in memory of K. Dun Gifford, who passed away very suddenly on Sunday. I have many happy memories of working for him, and know he will be missed. This show was originally published in October 2007. -JI]

 FP60: Sicily and the Mediterranean Diet: Play Now | Play in Popup | Download

The Mediterranean Diet is much more than a diet — it’s a lifestyle. Happily, olive oil plays a big part in that, and this week I’m talking to some experts on the subject of olive oil and living well. Join me as I speak with Dr. Fausto Luchetti and K. Dun Gifford about Sicilian olive oil, their work to advocate the Mediterranean diet, and the new Sicilian Regional Institute of Olives and Oil.

I also caught up with renowned restaurateur Tony May to talk about his adventures with other restaurant owners as they travel through Italy tasting and sipping (I need to get in on that group).

P.S. Don’t miss next week’s three-part video of our eating tour of the Lower East Side, coming out on Food Philosophy, ReMARKable Palate and All You Can Eat!

Music: Beau Hall (http://www.beaurocks.com/)

Food Philosophy is a production of the Culinary Podcast Network (http://www.culinarypodcastnetwork.com/).

While I’ve been trying to get my health in order over the past few weeks, a few people suggested that I look into gluten as a potential culprit for some of my fibromyalgia aches and pains; apparently gluten intolerance can sometimes trigger a fibro flare-up. I figured that at this point, I had little to lose, and gave it a shot. Much to my surprise, within a couple of days I was feeling far more energetic again, and the physical pain was almost nil. Dubious, I ate a few organic mini-muffins, because surely this was a fluke.

My body told me otherwise.

Concerned about my upcoming press trip to Ireland, I reached out to our hosts and asked if they might be able to accommodate a gluten-free menu. I was a bit nervous about it, as I wasn’t sure how the chefs would react — this was a culinary weekend, after all. Again, to my surprise, every one of them was happily prepared for me, and I savored delicious meals along with everyone else, with slight modifications to the relevant courses. They even brought me my own basket of gluten-free breads and crackers each night, which I’ll admit made me a little verklempt because it was so sweet.

But because there is a part of me inside that is railing against such a restriction on my livelihood, I sampled a few bites of bread pudding just before leaving the hotel in Ireland. And because sometimes it takes me a while to learn the lesson, I sat through some pretty wicked physical and stomach pains on the way home, along with a body that swelled with an additional 6 lbs. of water. That’s a lotta liquid.

So now that I’m home again, I’m looking at all of this from a big-picture perspective. And since I’ve been paying careful attention to my body’s reaction to food, I also noticed severe swelling each time I had wine during the trip, so I’m faced with some difficult choices. I’m not going to sugarcoat it — this is not happy effing news. For more than 20 years, my life and career have revolved around food and drink. Now there are whole categories that must be eliminated if I’m to be well again, and I’m struggling with it. As a very emotional person, I am trying to stem the melodrama and powerfully accept what is so in order to create a new path. I’m just not sure what that is yet.

It does make me very happy and relieved to see the number of gluten-free products out there, and so far the going has been quite easy in terms of finding things to eat — even in airports. I’m learning how to eat and not be ravenous in between meals, and am enjoying some gorgeous seasonal flavors. But I would cut a bitch for a slice of freshly-baked artisan bread. Thankfully, I’m not much of a sweets eater, so the prospect of limited desserts doesn’t bother me much (and foie gras creme brulee is gluten-free, praise the gods). The wine problem, however, troubles me intensely. I’m not sure what’s happening there, so I’ll table it until I get the rest of my system in order, but inside me there is a little girl in pigtails and Mary Janes throwing a complete hissy fit.

There have been moments over the past few weeks when I’ve been willing to trade just about any other illness for this one — for something not food-related. However, that kind of thinking isn’t going to do me much good, and irrational is not my preferred state of being. I’ve found some fantastic resources thanks to people like Gluten-Free Girl, Celiac Teen and my Twitter pals, and I’m trying to go a step at a time so as not to be overwhelmed. In fact, I was quite fine with it until today, as it was all theoretical until The Bread Pudding Incident. Now reality is setting in, so I’ll put on my big girl pants and learn the new set of rules.

The toughest part career-wise is that I now have to ask if I can be accommodated for every invitation I receive to a press luncheon, cocktail event or tasting. I’m that girl. Wine tasting events? I can’t even go there in my head right now. We get at least 10 invitations a week to things.

But for now I’ll take a deep breath and focus on the good stuff, and be thankful that I’ve experienced some of the best there is to be had in fine cuisine and wines from around the world. It’s more than some have in a lifetime, and for that I am grateful.

I’m also thankful to you for being here as I walk along this new road. You’ve been wonderfully supportive and helpful, and I can’t thank you enough for that. So I guess we’ll take this little walk together.

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During my trip to Rias Baixas, Spain, our gaggle of journalists spent an evening in the dining room of Chef José González-Solla, owner of Casa Solla in Pontevedra. We were in for a delightful interpretation of Galician cuisine, many of which came with a variety of textures, flavors and colors. After dinner I sat down with the chef to talk about his food philosophy and the way he plays with his food. You can see the photos of our various courses below.

www.restaurantesolla.com

Two exciting announcements this week: Our new Knife Skills 101 course is live in our new CMN Academy, so learn the correct techniques (along with some tips) from Chef Mark. We’ve also added Brian Franklin’s DoubleShot Coffee Company coffees to our Gilded Fork Boutique, so oh my, yes, get to sipping.

And in the world of rants, I share my thoughts on the latest piece of inane legislature to be introduced: A ban on salt. You read that correctly.

Music: Beau Hall (www.beaurocks.com), Kevin MacLeod (www.incompetech.com)

Food Philosophy is a production of the Culinary Media Network
(www.culinarymedianetwork.com)

Photos from our dinner:

“Gin & Tonic” and Olive chips with anchovy paste

Tomato confit with parmesan foam

Potato foam over a roasted onion

Navaja (razorneck clam) with lemon cream

Croqueta cream with shrimp

Caballa (mackerel) in sea salt

Mero en escabeche (grouper in escabeche)

Squab (pigeon) on cornbread crumble with spinach

“Queso de País” cow’s milk cheese

Accompaniments for the cheese course

Almonds four ways (cake, ice cream, cream, toasted/crushed)

Chocolate & strawberries

 Podcast Video: Play Now | Play in Popup | Download

During my trip to Rias Baixas, I snuck into the kitchen with Chef José González-Solla, owner of Casa Solla in Pontevedra, to watch him prepare our main course. This chef likes to play with his food, and he treated us to an inspirational twist on traditional Galician flavors.

You can also listen to my interview with Chef Gonzalez-Solla on the next Food Philosophy audio podcast. He is a delightfully sweet human being, and we had such fun as we talked about playing with our food!

www.restaurantesolla.com

A production of the Culinary Media Network.
www.culinarymedianetwork.com

Travel & accommodations provided by Wines from Spain and the Rias Baixas wine region.

Here we go. It’s almost Valentine’s Day, so expect to see no less than 20 articles on the topic of aphrodisiacs and how they can improve your love life. Per the usual, I call B.S.

Yes, there are ways in which food chemically affects our senses, and these facts have been scientifically proven in a number of studies. Hot peppers do make our blood run faster, men and women are aroused by certain smells, etc. However — and this is the very premise of my work — the mind is what drives the senses at their roots. If you aren’t sexy between the ears first, by knowing yourself, your mind, your body and its reactions, the food can only do so much. If you are a sensually-repressed individual, a bite of avocado is not going to suddenly transform you into Casanova. Sorry to disappoint.

The New York Times has an article on the subject, and my favorite quote was from none other than Dr. Ruth: “The most important sex organ lies between the ears.”

Instead of trying to achieve nirvana via the fig, how about via your soul? What awakens it? What is your approach to life? Your philosophy?

If you pull those things into alignment, and understand who you are at your core, the food then becomes a delicious accompaniment to life itself, where beauty is more vivid, sex more fulfilling — and the senses the catalyst for a journey of satiety in new forms.

The unencumbered mind and spirit provide the best aphrodisiacs I’ve found to date.

I’ve just received the first set of menu ideas from the Roger Smith Hotel chefs for my Sex on a Plate event, and as I review the flavor profiles, my mental mouth is hard at work to determine what I think will work, and what I might like to tweak. So I thought this was a good time to talk more in depth about this phrase to which I’m constantly referring.

When I talk about the “mental mouth,” I mean your little inner chef, who goes to work when you are hungry, or are planning a meal. He’s the one who calls to you when you’re craving something like honey-roasted figs stuffed with whipped blue cheese and pine nuts, or who takes stock of your fridge’s ingredients and says, “We’re having a Gruyere omelette with sauteed onions, a side salad with honey Dijon vinaigrette and grilled bread.”

He’s also the one who craves things at the most inconvenient times, like homemade Chinese dumplings at 2 AM. (Incidentally, my brother Phil, whose palate blows mine away, will get up and indulge that craving. His dumplings are some of the best I’ve ever tasted.)

That little inner chef is the keeper of food memories. The storer of flavor profiles. The master of indulgences. And the more you exercise him — by tasting, exploring, sniffing, touching — the more skilled he becomes. After many years of training, I can now confidently open any fridge and plan a meal (except for Chef Mark’s, which has little to work with but bottles of foreign ingredients I can’t decipher). For example, if I see eggs, flour, cream and some vegetables, it’s time for pasta primavera accented with whatever herbs and spices I have to work with.

Sometimes the mental mouth can fool us. It can say “Yes! Try the abc with the xyz!” — and it’s a disaster. Sometimes it’s a win — think dark chocolate-dipped bacon.

The mental mouth is what has led us to evolve as a cooking and eating species. It has created the winning flavor combinations of lime, cilantro, chile and beef, or pasta, Pecorino Romano cheese, butter and truffle shavings. Someone had to take a risk — and we get to benefit. The more you taste, the more data you store in that inner chef’s recipe files, so when you stumble upon the perfect tomato he goes to work. Do you want to eat that juicy ruby with citrusy cilantro or spicy basil? With red onions or sweet white ones? Alone or with some bread?

As you develop his repertoire, you can then look at a dish named Beef medallion with celery root puree, confit garlic foam and spiced port reduction and give it a “Hell, yes.” Right now my inner chef is dancing in the combination of the delicate celery root and sweet garlic foam, knowing a little punch will come from the spicy reduction, all blending together perfectly with the richness of the beef. I can taste it in my head.

So if you want to develop your own little inner chef, start paying closer attention when you eat. See how the flavors play on your tongue, and your palate. Take note of what specifically you like about the flavor or texture. Do avocados make your tongue sing with their delicate, silky texture? Do you like the way noodles feel as they slide down your throat? Does the smell of fresh oregano make you swoon? The world is your laboratory. Go play.

And yes, I’m serving that beef dish at the event.

Photo: Kelly Cline

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If you have any preconceived notions about coffee, this is a good time to cast them aside. After talking with Brian Franklin, I certainly have. Brian is the owner of The Double Shot Coffee Company in Tulsa, OK, and he is roasting the best coffee that has ever touched my lips, bar none. He has changed my whole world.

In our chat we discuss everything from picking, roasting, grinding and brewing to why most of the commercial coffee you buy (including from that big chain) is burnt, and why those enticing-looking, oily beans are bad. Step into Brian’s world with me.

www.doubleshotcoffee.com

Here’s the Cook’s Illustrated coffee machine test to which we referred:
http://www.cooksillustrated.com/video/default.asp?docid=17108&newVideo=y

I’ve also got a very important announcement about Sex on a Plate in case you haven’t heard the news!

sexonaplate.eventbrite.com

Music: Beau Hall (www.beaurocks.com)

Food Philosophy is a production of the Culinary Media Network (www.culinarymedianetwork.com)

What does your inside voice say when you taste something sublime?

Mine says this.

You’ve seen me talk a lot about Sex on a Plate on Twitter and Facebook, but I think it’s high time we got out of the digital realm of talking food and sensuality to bring the experience to life, so if you’re in NYC for Valentine’s Day, I hope you’ll join us for a very special evening.

WHAT IT IS

We’ll spend the evening exploring the sensual pleasures of food through small plates composed of sultry flavors, textures and colors. We’ll work to envelop each and every one of your senses and push your palate to the limit.

Beer, wine and special cocktails will be available. Our guests will leave with gift bags full of goodies. There’s also a special discount on hotel stays for those that want to continue their evening of pleasure.

While much of the evening will bring you mouth-to-mouth with the unexpected, here’s some of what you can look forward to:

6:30 – 7 PM Passed hors d’oeuvres and signature cocktails

7 – 10 PM Small plates and open bar

Throughout the evening, special guest Yolanda Shoshana, the Luscious Lifestyle Diva, will be sharing some of her delicious expertise. I’ll also be available with some special guests to share more about the connection between food and sensuality.

MENU (Subject to change depending on seasonal ingredients)

Passed hors d’oeuvres:

• Avocado mousse with pickled ginger and orange zest on spicy tortilla crisp
• Truffled oysters
• Cardamom-dusted grilled lamb chop

Small plates:

• Endive with bacon, St. André cheese, hazelnuts, caramelized dried figs and honey vinaigrette
• Saffron Gnocchi with crispy artichokes
• Beef with celery root puree, garlic foam and a spiced port reduction
• Selection of artisan cheeses
• Honey-glazed pear tart with lavender whipped cream

Beer, wine and cocktails – Featuring Hahn SLH Estate Syrah Santa Lucia Highlands 2007

Goodie bags (Value: $40+)

WHO THIS EXPERIENCE IS FOR

Singles, couples and groups of friends who want to explore and delight in the sensual pleasures of food. This event is for everyone, regardless of status or sexual preference, so long as you have an adventurous palate.

DETAILS
February 14, 2010
6:30 – 10:00 PM
Roger Smith Hotel, Penthouse Solarium

EARLY-BIRD TICKET PRICES THROUGH 1/31/10

$100 pp
$90 pp for groups of 2 or more
Ticket price includes goodie bag valued at $40+
Space is limited. 21 and over. ORDER YOUR TICKETS HERE.

Note: Due to the nature of this tasting event, we will unfortunately not be able to accommodate food allergy restrictions. Menu may contain shellfish, nuts or other allergens.

HOTEL SPECIAL

The Roger Smith Hotel is offering a special “Take Monday Off” rate on Valentine’s Day for this event. Please contact Brian Simpson at brian@rogersmith.com or @Bsimi on Twitter to book.

Photos: Kelly Cline

It’s been an intriguing couple of months. I originally posted this on Food Philosophy, but realized that some of you may read my stuff here instead of there, so I wanted to share it here, too, because it sets up a lot of things to come this year. Hee.

At BlogWorldExpo in Las Vegas, I found myself being introduced in the following manner: I’d like you to meet Jennifer. She does “Sex on a Plate.” To my pleasant surprise, many people already knew about it — or wanted to. Marsha Collier and I talked about it on her radio show for KTRB in San Francisco, and 4 million more people were let in on the secret. I loved that.

I then spent a few days with Kelly Cline, the early inspiration for turning my blog into something more. I am drawn to her food photography like a bee to honey, as she is the only person on earth who can see inside my mind and bring my thoughts to visual, four-color reality. We’ve had a magnificent five years of collaboration, and I’m coming away from my time with her newly inspired. It also turns out she takes more than good food photos…but more on that another time.

Kelly and I breathe a tandem rhythm of sensual stimulation, but we don’t want to be the only two in on the melody — and it looks like many of you feel the same way.

On Facebook, in e-mail and at events, people are asking me what it all means. So what kind of food should I eat? What dish gets you really hot? But that, my friends, is the result, not the cause. Let me explain a bit.

On Food Philosophy #87 I talked about experiencing Zumanity, the Sensual Side of Cirque du Soleil. I’m eternally grateful to Jess Berlin for offering me a ticket, because seeing the show brought all my recent thoughts together in a flash of inspiration. Zumanity artfully and powerfully evokes the sensual desires in our minds — even the ones we hide in the light of day — and strikes a chord so deep it’s impossible to leave the theater without an overwhelming need to satiate them. Whether we shiver at the sight of light blue silk rippling in the breeze, or feel a rush of desire at the crack of a whip, something in that show triggers our senses until the hunger in the room is palpable. Every body shape, every sexual preference — every fantasy — is captured on stage, drenched in perfect lighting and pulsating rhythms.

I found myself in such a heightened state of sensory indulgence, I actually purred. Out loud.

After walking out of the theater I realized that if the world could step inside my head in that moment, they would get the idea of Sex on a Plate at its core. It’s not the food, you see, though that is a magnificent component of the satiety; it is what I’ve awakened inside that enables me to feel that kind of passionate arousal in such a moment, and see the world exploding with color and texture all around me. Imagine feeling like that on a regular basis. Oh yes.

The good news is that I’m not an anomaly — I’ve worked to get my senses to this place, but there are lots of you out there, even if you don’t know it yet. I’ve discovered that some of you took my tips to heart in getting started, and are beginning to see food in a whole different way. That excites me. Some of you have taken the tips into the bedroom. That excites me more.

If you haven’t yet started on the road toward Eden, I’m putting out a personal challenge to you, because it’s no fun here with just a few of us: Do something today to satiate your senses. Take a few extra seconds when you nibble that bite of chocolate, and feel its silkiness as it melts on your tongue. Run a finger down your lover’s spine. Drink in a moment of beauty, whether it’s a perfect flower or an exquisite woman.

Do this and you will soon be rewarded in the Garden, because things are in motion to bring Sex on a Plate to life, off the digitized page and right in front of you. Do you want your senses to be tickled? Titillated?

If the answer is yes — and I hope it is — I’ll need you to prepare.

Top photo: Kelly Cline
Bottom photo: Cirque du Soleil